Don’t Be Jealous, I Will Bend Myself – Chapter 1

TL Note: This is a yuri/girl love (GL) world hopping, author become transmigrator in her own novels and have to fall in love with the female lead while abusing the slag male lead.

I actually never read a yuri novel before, just saw this on NovelUpdates for requests to pickup and I volunteer since it seems to have some fanbase. I noticed that the GL community been growing for light novels on NU.

I am only working up to ch. 20 due to VIP chapters (Ch.21+). Just think of this as a teaser on my blog since Ch.1-19 covers Arc 1.

I regret picking this up, the word count for each chapter is huge! Basically, I can release 3-4 chapters of The Villain Has Blackened Again for every chapter of this.

Translated by Novice Translations

Arc 1: Escaped Woman x Escaped from Marriage – 01

When the Distance Between You and the Female Host is Negative

  Ke Li looked at her red wedding dress and wanted to cry without tears. She thought she had worked hard to be a single dog for 25 years against her mother’s wishes. But, as soon as she transmigrated, she was in an arranged marriage. She wanted to abuse dogs. Fortunately, she could still escape the marriage.

  ”Doudou, when can I escape marriage?” Ke Li asked impatiently.

  [Host, you wrote this novel yourself, when will you escape the marriage, how do you not know?]

  As the system, it felt helpless.

  Ke Li: “…” Well, she did write this novel herself.

  Ke Li is 25 years old this year. She is a dead house writer. She eats and sleeps every day. The problem is not bad. In her spare time, she likes to write all kinds of brain holes as stories.  In the long run, she has a position in the online literary community and her life is simply beautiful.

  It would be better if her mom didn’t urge her to get married every day.

  This morning, she was dragged by her mother, Shen Qing, to a blind date. Her date was a dull man of science and technology. After the blind date ended, she slept in her big bed but did not wake up to a happy scene.

  She transmigrated into a novel she wrote and has a sly identity – a vicious female matchmaker.

  Ha ha!

  Not only that, but there was also a system called Doudou in her mind, which is a love and romance system.

  Fucking god talks about love?

  Ke Li suspected that it was sent to complain about her, after so many years of being single and living well. What kind of love is it talking about now? Did it not sleep enough? Or has it read too many novels?

  Isn’t it good to be single?

  Ke Li pulled her wedding dress bored and asked, “Doudou, when will my mother let me go back?”

  [Minister said that you can go back after you have completed a certain number of tasks.]

  The system is big, fluffy and white which is cute. When it speaks, it is very serious. It is so serious that she couldn’t help from time to time, with a smile, think of her serious mother.  

  Ke Li really wants to eat, sleep and play with Doudou.

  Her mother Shen Qing is the Minister of the Life Experience Department of the Time Administration. She has many special powers from her position. According to her mother’s temper, if she doesn’t complete the task, she may be stranded in the fictional world.

  The more Ke Li thinks about it, the more she felt wronged. The more she felt programmed to follow her mother’s hope to fall in love, regardless of gender. Now her mother uses a back door to let her experience life and learn how to fall in love.

  She raised her head and sadly asked: “How do I complete the task?”

  [When the intimacy reaches 100%.]


  Ke Li asked: “When will intimacy reach 100%?”

  With whose intimacy value?

  [When the distance between you and the female host is negative.]

  Doudou said this without any fluctuations in its heart. Afterall, it’s just an obedient system.

  Negative distance?

As a serious web writer, Ke Li, has never driven in a big environment. Her heart is already full of lightning and thunder, and her brain was filled with exciting scenes playing one after the other.

  Of course, she knows what it means to have a negative distance and is in a dilemma. The difficulty factor is too high, she mumbles, “Why is it a woman? A woman?”

  She is a straight steel pipe, and the male god has always been a film emperor with an eight pack. The system means that she must go and fall in love with the female goddess?

  [Because it can only be a woman.]

  Ke Li was shocked and asked, “Are you all right?”

  [No mistake, previously, the novel world has been invaded by the slag man system, and all the male owners have become slag men. Does the host want to be in a negative distance with a slag man?]  

  Doudou’s face didn’t flush, but it didn’t mention that the intrusion of the scum system was man-made and was specifically addressed by Minister Shen Qing. As for bending, it doesn’t know. Probably the host’s mother is interested in letting her daughter bend.   

  Ke Li breathes a sigh of relief and let the slag man go.

  But if it’s a female lord, she can’t do it. After all, she is a straight steel pipe.

  Ke Li automatically overlooked the possibility that she was the one who will be killed and once again confirmed: “If I can’t complete the task, I won’t be stuck in this fictional world the entire time, will I?”

  [The minister will probably let you choose one of the people you met yesterday or today.]

  The system mourns for its own host.

  Yesterday’s big sister? And today’s science man?

  Despite the rapid development of society, sexual orientation is no longer a problem, same-sex marriage is common, but she couldn’t casually end her 25-year single dog life.

  Ke Li can only persuade herself to complete the task. Anyway, they were only characters in a novel. She can learn to fall in love with the goddess or something and try it reluctantly.

  ”Did the invasion of the scum male system affect the original plot?”

  [After the male lord turns into a slag, a butterfly effect will occur and some of the plot will change.]

  Ke Li: “…”

  If the plot changes, then the advantage of writing the novel has disappeared.

  [Host, I will convey to you the plot after the scum male system invasion.]

  As the author mother of this novel, Ke Li certainly knows the general situation of the world. It’s about a dog’s bloody love affair involving the entire country.

  The character she is wearing now is called Ke Si Qu. She is the daughter of a Jiang general. In the beginning she is a warm little white flower and later became the typical vicious female matchmaker.

  The novel’s main plot is a love story between the male master Lin Wentian and female master Shi Jian. The male and female lords are both citizens of Yeguo, a neighbor of Jiang Kingdom. At present, the two countries have good relations and there is no war.

  After the novel world was invaded by the scum male system, earth-shattering changes occurred in the later stages of the plot.

  The male lord Lin Wentian is an orphan. He was taken by the marshal of the country, to Shi Jian’s father. His temperament and talents were excellent. Coupled with the favor of the female master, the two families decided to have a relationship. However, Lin Wentian out of pride, didn’t want to have a reputation as a climber and fled on the day of marriage to pursue his dreams.

  Shi Jian was left behind in the escaped marriage. As Ke Si Qu was escaping that same day, she mistakenly thought the woman was also a fugitive. Regardless of her misunderstandings, she pulled Shi Jian along with her so they “escape marriage” together. There was a feeling of sisterhood in the process of escaping marriage, but finally because they fell in love with the male owner, they grew distance.

  Ke Si Qu made every effort to become a vicious matchmaker and eventually died under the female host.

  After the male lord became scum, not only did he gather a harem along the way, but knew Shi Jian’s royal bloodline from the previous Jiang’s imperial clan. He deliberately triggered a war between the two countries which led to the destruction of life. Because she was in a hostile country, the woman’s home was destroyed, and became a despairing member of his harem.

  ”Slag man!”

  Even Ke Li, the author mother felt that the male lord was the scum of the earth. Shi Jian is a heroine she personally created. She is a person who should be the male lord’s heart but was treated so badly. She suddenly gave birth to a sense of frustration that she did not managed her own children well.

  Whether to fall in love or not was no longer important. But it is necessary to slap the scum male lord so that the child can get the punishment he deserves and let the woman’s life be safe and successfully filled with happiness.

  At this point, the author mother, Ke Li is very considerate of her daughter.

  [Host, are you ready to escape marriage?]

  Doudou felt Ke Li’s resentment.

  ”Let’s escape and find that woman.”

  The novel’s plot starts at the church, where Ke Si Qu decided to escape her marriage. Although the groom is an official from Jiang, they were in an arranged marriage, they did not like each other and not to mention the groom is poor. Also, Ke Si Qu was secretly interested in the male lord when she visited Yeguo.

  Ke Li doesn’t care about these things, she just wants to meet the female lord as soon as possible in order to expose the true face of the scum male. As for love, the development of the negative distance…the sisterhood will be the same.

  ”Doudou, will I know martial arts now?” Ke Li left and stuffed silver in her pockets and didn’t feel at ease.

  There’s a risk walking around and Ke Si Qu is no warrior.

  [Host, you can rest assure, even if you don’t, I will shield you from pain.]1 The system is savage, basically saying it won’t teach her martial arts. But it will watch her getting beaten up and just shield her pain receptors. Duoduo is cold.

  Ke Li: “…”

  What does she want this system for?

  According to her memories, Ke Li tried it casually and found that she could use martial arts.

  Before the groom came to pick her up, she stole away from the backyard with light footwork and little effort and left everything behind.  

  Ke Li was on horseback, her legs trembled, her butt ached so much that she couldn’t help but complain, “Doudou, why didn’t I transmigrate closer to the heroine? Even if these two countries are neighbors, I’ll be traveling for a long time. What if we miss the heroine?”

   [Host, this is your own novel, the journey is your original work, and the female lord should be outside the city now.] Doudou felt helpless.

  Ke Li: “…”

  Well, it is her own death.

  She was dressed as a vicious woman from the novel, is there anything worse than this? Of course, all the pots must be thrown to her head.

  When the sun was about to set, Ke Li finally met Shi Jian and couldn’t help but smile like an old mother.

  Shi Jian was in a red dress, she stood tall with a sword. In the afterglow of the setting sun, her face became softer as she was coated with a layer of golden light.

  She was dressed the same as Ke Li who had escaped from marriage. She was wearing a red wedding dress, but one was hiding from her fiancé and the other was searching for their fiancé.

  In the beginning, Ke Si Qu saw Shi Jian and thought that she was escaping marriage like herself. Out of pity from being in the same situation, she pulled Shi Jian and together they escaped from marriage, then a series of events happened afterwards.

  Later in their relationship, Ke Si Qu accidentally discovered that Shi Jian was the fiancé of her sweetheart. There was a contradiction between them. Ke Si Qu was thoroughly slapped then completely blackened into a vicious female matchmaker.2 I’m pretty sure the vicious female matchmaker means that she’s a vicious supporting female character

  ”Doudou, what should we do now, should we go straight?”

  Ke Li is a little nervous. No matter how beautiful she portrays Shi Jian in her novel, it was illusory. Now that she sees the female lead’s face, she felt that her dreams have come true.

  After all, no matter how straight a person is, they have no resistance to beauty.

  [Host, you can’t go straight.]3Doudou is teasing her that she can’t be a straight woman and have to bend. Doudou can clearly understand Ke Li’s thoughts and couldn’t help but say that.  

  ”Nonsense, this mother is single and straight as a steel pipe, I have always only loved my male god from beginning to end. You, can’t seduce my spirit out of derailment.” Ke Li replied.

  [People with tunes in their names can’t stand up straight.]

  Doudou sighed, it was anxious for its host to be accepting. There were so many other novel worlds left and so many female lords to fall in love with. If she did not bend, there would only be a ghost left.

  Ke Li: “…”

  Ke Si Qu is a third tune?!4 It’s referencing Doudou’s joke of her name sounding catchy where it doesn’t even “sound” straight. Her character’s name is Ke Si Qu. Si (思) – to think/consider and Qu (曲) bent/crooked. Also Qu means song/tune – so her name is a catchy tune that makes her bent.

  During the time that Ke Li and the system argued, they already ran into the female host in accordance with the novel’s plot.

  Originally, she was going to hold the reins upside down to take the female master on her horse. She was in a hurry to experience the wonderful feelings of an author mother and daughter riding together.

  But she didn’t think her toes would be caught in the reins, her back suddenly got a cramp and she fell straight off the horse.

  Shi Jian: “…”

  Should I pick it up?

Author’s Notes:

Collection of pre-released posts, “Prisoner’s Marriage [GL]”

Shi Jian likes to whisper but dislikes it when she whispers.

In this case, it would be better to imprison her.

A marriage contract, between the palms of her hands.

Kiss her eyebrows, lips and abuse her heart.

In the end, Shi Jian finds it difficult to give up.

Love and kill, but a prisoner of love.

It is love spent knowing each other.

Loyal dog paranoid x sex. Indifferent imperial sister.

P.S. Little angels who don’t want one-night stand can collect columns (*/ω\*)

  1. The system is savage, basically saying it won’t teach her martial arts. But it will watch her getting beaten up and just shield her pain receptors. Duoduo is cold.
  2. I’m pretty sure the vicious female matchmaker means that she’s a vicious supporting female character
  3. Doudou is teasing her that she can’t be a straight woman and have to bend.
  4. It’s referencing Doudou’s joke of her name sounding catchy where it doesn’t even “sound” straight. Her character’s name is Ke Si Qu. Si (思) – to think/consider and Qu (曲) bent/crooked. Also Qu means song/tune – so her name is a catchy tune that makes her bent.

This Post Has 13 Comments

  1. Avatar

    I’m not one to read GL, but I’m also not against it so I’ll try reading it~

    So far seems good.

    Thanks for the chapter~

  2. Avatar
    Anisha Ming

    thank you for chapter

    1. Avatar

      Thanks for the chapter 💙

    2. Avatar

      @anisha ming where’s your pfp from-

  3. Avatar


  4. Avatar

    i will give this a go though usually it becomes meh…hopefully this one is still goo 😀

  5. Avatar
    Sand Whale

    Lol that ending cracked me up 🤣 The way you incorporate your translation notes is much appreciated too, it doesn’t take me out of the story.

  6. Avatar

    Thank you for the chapter xD sorry, I had to laugh when you said that you regretted picking this up hahaha

    1. Avatar
      Novice TL Admin

      Haha i did when I first picked it up. Can you imagine? A newbie translator that just started a couple weeks ago went from a small consistent chapter project (2-2.5k per chapter) to a project with inconsistent chapter lengths that are sometimes so long (10k). Average chapter legnth is around 3.5k.

      Back then when i picked it up, it felt like a lot of work compared to the other series LOL

  7. Avatar

    indeed there is no such a ‘Love’ that can beat the ‘Solitude Love’

  8. Avatar

    The way all of the titles in this chapter were transmigrated are super awkward, would be nice if they could be remedied.

    1. Avatar

      Hi Daisy,

      Could you explain what you meant by that?

  9. Avatar

    It seems pretty interesting lol going into her own novels to play out a romance.

    Pretty brutal mom though, why does she want her daughter to bend? Unless she’s already bent and lost her memory? I’ve read a couple stories like that … Is the FL actually her lover she’s forgotten ?

    I have seen the time and space administration in various novels too but first time for a mom to be a director there, usually it’s a more mysterious existence.

    Well spaghetti is also straight, until it gets wet, let’s see how FL gets mc wet.

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