Don’t Be Jealous, I Will Bend Myself – Chapter 2

Translated by Novice Translations

Arc 1: Escaped Woman x Escaped from Marriage – 02

Bring a Daughter-in-law Home

As the heroine of the novel, Shi Jian’s three views are moral and her heart is kind, so she will not let Ke Li become injured in front of her.

  She threw down her long sword, slipped forward, and caught Ke Li in a princess carry. The horse screamed in shock but Ke Li was still spaced out.

  This is the first time in her life that Ke Li has been embraced by a woman. There are reasons why she has been a single dog for 25 years. Apart from having zero experience in love, she doesn’t like to have physical contact. However, the physical contact with Shi Jian was tolerable, rather it had a cordial feeling.

  Just now she was ready to make a fool of herself but was saved by the female lord. Now the whole heart was throbbing, not from being teased, but from being scared!

  Ke Li’s hands fell unnaturally to her side and wanted to get down, but she was shocked to see Shi Jian’s beautiful face and her skin that could be blown away.1 It’s a common saying but can be versed in different phrases – her skin is so tender, thin, translucent, delicate that it can be blown away. For a moment, she was stunned, thinking that it’s really the woman she has written. Not only was she beautiful and kind, but she has inherited the spirit of helping others completely, otherwise her waist would have disappeared long ago.2 Ke Li meant by her waist would have disappeared a long time ago – Shi Jian wouldn’t have caught her waist if she wasn’t such a great person. The author just phrased the meaning of the sentence indirectly.

  […] Doudou is now quite sure that the straight steel pipe is false. Once you see a beauty, the straight person will automatically bend, especially its small and arrogant host.

  ”…” Shi Jian looked at Ke Li staring at her in a daze and raised the corner of her mouth.

  Just now, she thought that the other party was a woman of character. After all, this is a difficult world. A grand escape from marriage is not something that an ordinary woman can do, but she didn’t expect her to be a fool, a fool who stares at people dumbly.  

  Out of good education, she did not throw Ke Li down. Instead, she asked in a good temper, “Are you all right, girl?”  

  ”No… I’m okay.” Ke Li returned from her mind, after spurning herself within her heart, embarrassed to come down from Shi Jian’s arms. She squeezed out a phrase from the ancient times, “Thank you very much for this girl’s rescue.”

  “It’s just a show of hands.” When Shi Jian determined that Ke Li was not injured, she didn’t think much about it. She turned around and left her.

  Ke Li can feel the alienation and indifference from the other side. She blamed herself for creating the female host’s strange temper. Otherwise, the task would be much easier.

  She pinched her thigh with all her heart and soul and fell to the ground with a “thump” sound.

  Just two steps away, Shi Jian heard the sound, turned around and held her.

  [Host, you have a cramp in your back, you didn’t need to pinch your thigh.]

  ”Bullshit, it’s about getting the task done.” Ke Li quietly moved her hand away from her thighs and leaned shamelessly against Shi Jian’s arms.  

  Shi Jian is now 18 years old and was about to get married. She had a well-developed chest.   

  Ke Li felt her cheeks resting on a soft mass and her face turned red. This author mother was too ashamed to pretend to be weak in her daughter’s arms, but she went out of her way in order to complete the task.

  [Come on, the host is the fattest!]  Doudou watches the good show on the side.

  Ke Li: “…”

  ”Girl, did you hurt your feet?” Shi Jian asked doubtfully. She did not find herself being taken advantage of at all. Everyone was a woman, no wonder her vigilance declined.

  ”Er…no,” Ke Li added. “Maybe it’s from riding for too long, my legs hurt a little. Please give me a hand, sister.”

  As the saying goes, a good woman is afraid of pestering her husband. If she wants to accomplish her task, she must learn to pretend to be weak and pitiful even if she’s strong.

  In this way, it’s possible to stay at the female host’s side, to abuse the slag man and develop sisterhood.

  At the time, Shi Jian held Ke Li’s waist. In fact, she was unwilling to get involved in such trouble. She intuitively felt that this person was wrong, especially against herself, but the other party was so entangled with her that she couldn’t get rid of her.

  Then she will take it step by step to see what kind of person Ke Li is. Isn’t this a person sent by Jiang?

  Ke Li settled safely in Shi Jian’s arms and wondered how to find an excuse to stay with her.

  Suddenly, she heard a burst of horse hooves. Her heart was overjoyed, but her face suddenly panicked. She tightened on Shi Jian’s sleeve and looked up pitifully and asked, “Can sister send me to the city?”

  Shi Jian quietly watched Ke Li, she seemed to want a reasonable explanation.  

  When Ke Li’s head suddenly lowered and she looked up again, she was already crying and her cheeks were red. She explained with tears: “My parents at home are forcing me to marry an uneducated man for money. I escape the marriage, but they must have caught up with me. My sister must help me.”

  [The host’s acting skills are so good that old cow eats young grass.]3 Idiom – old cow eats young grass – a romance where the “man” is significantly older [Ke Li – 25yr] than the woman [Shi Jian – 18yr]. Doudou hits low and is an asshole. Doudou stood with pain.

  Ke Li: “…”

  In the novel, Ke Si Qu is only seventeen and a half years old. Otherwise she wouldn’t have the face to say that.  

  When Shi Jian looked up and stared ahead, there was indeed the sound of horse hooves in her ears and there was smoke and dust. There should be a group of people and horses coming. If Ke Li was meticulous, she would just watch. If not, she would have helped a fleeing girl.

  She murmured: “Come with me but listen to me.”

  Ke Li nodded heavily: “Thank you, sister.”

  When Shi Jian took Ke Li into the city, she found an inn. Their red clothes were too conspicuous, so they changed into ordinary clothes.

  After changing clothes, Ke Li held her face and asked curiously, “Sister is wearing a wedding dress, did you escape marriage like me?”

  In fact, she knows very well, but in order to fit the silly and innocent character, she can only pretend and continue to act shamelessly.

  When she looked at Ke Li’s eyes, she felt disappointment for a moment. She was afraid that the other party was really running away from marriage, rather than planning an elaborate scheme. Afterall, now that the two countries have good relations, there has been no war for a long time and people often come and go.

  She lightly said: “I’m not fleeing marriage, it’s a fugitive marriage.”

  She said that but her heart couldn’t help feeling upset, not because she had escaped from marriage, but because she was played.  

  ”Sister loves that person?” Ke Li continued to be stupid and sweet.

  Shi Jian glanced at her: “How can you tell?”

  ”Of course, it’s from my sister’s actions, otherwise how could you…” Ke Li said and suddenly stopped. The woman was carrying a sword. It was different from the original plot in her novel. At first glance, it seemed like she was trying to find fault.  

  ”Did you bring your sword for someone?”

Shi Jian looked at the sword on the table and smiled with the corners of her mouth. “He fled the marriage and let my family lose face. Do you think it’s time to bring him back and clean up?”

  “…” Ke Li felt a chilliness on her back. She asked the system, “Doudou, why does it seem that the female lord is a little broken?”

  Although the female host is ruthless when she is angry, but she is also a gentle imperial sister, not black-bellied. According to the original plot, the present female host should not be a woman looking for her favorite male lord. If he comes back, at most, she should say to teach, how can he be cleaned up? Isn’t that enough?”

  [Host, the female owner you created at the time was too 2-D, now she is 3-D. The woman’s character is reflected, you asked for more happiness.]

  Ke Li: “…”

  If you want to say that the characters she created are too straightforward, just say it.4 Doudou talking shit to Ke Li…. implying that the character she shaped in her story was 2-D and doesn’t properly reflect the true personality of the character – thus her true form at present is 3-D (black bellied miss chasing husband). Basically, Doudou is jabbing at her for being a shitty writer that can’t even portray her characters properly. There’s a lot of hidden meanings in this novel so look carefully and think deeply!!! I’ll only explain the less obvious ones.

  [Moreover, the scum male system invaded and produced a butterfly effect. The female owner is now just a little fond of him.] Doudou added slowly.

  ”Then, don’t I have to worry that the lady will take fancy to the slag man?” When Ke Li wrote this novel, the male and female leads first had a marriage contract then later fell in love.

  Moreover, at that time the female lord was only interested in the man and promised to marry only because the emperor was afraid of the power of her family. He had been arbitrarily assigned to her and now she has rushed off to find the good-looking male owner.

  As a result, the slag male system was successful and morphed her good feelings.

  [This is a Mary Su novel. According to the development of the plot, the male and female owners will eventually be together, so if you really want to complete the task and abuse the slag man, you need to fight for love.]

  Ke Li: “…”

  She felt that she was really a vicious female matchmaker.

  When Shi Jian looked at Ke Li, who was dazed in front of herself again, she felt a bit discontent and grumbled.

  Ke Si Qu laughed and said, “Sister is so fierce that she catches people who have escaped marriage, whip and beat them up.”

  When Shi Jian did not speak, she just looked at Ke Li with a smile and slowly said, “Yes, you seem to be escaping from marriage, too.”5Implying Ke Li needs to be captured, skinned and beat up too.

  Ke Li: “…” Hehe!

  She was too busy eating to hide what she just said but she didn’t think the food here was to her taste and ate it quickly.

  Suddenly, Shi Jian felt that the person in front her was not only dull, but also a foodie. She had no bad intentions. The man who escaped from marriage did not seem to be so disgusting. Her feelings of depression from not finding Lin Wentian disappeared instantly.

  After dinner, Shi Jian kindly reminded her, “You be careful and not get taken back for marriage. I will leave first.”

  She only took two steps with her sword. Then, Ke Li grabbed her sleeve and said with a shy face, “Can sister help me one last time?”

  Shi Jian looked at her and asked, “What are you busy with?”

  ”They’ll find me here. Can I go with sister?” Ke Li asks shamelessly in order to accomplish her task, her bottom line can only be lowered along the way.

  Shi Jian said, “To my house?”

  It’s a strange feeling to take people home after only one meeting. She suddenly thinks about her romantic brother, who often takes beautiful women home for the night and gets beaten by her father afterwards.

  ”Is it inconvenient for sister?” Ke Li continued to pretend to be pitiful.

  ”That’s not true.” Their meeting is fate and Shi Jian is not stingy. Helping others is part of her family’s teaching, but it’s not clear if Ke Li has any other intentions.

  ”Thank you, sister.” She was afraid that Shi Jian would regret, so Ke Li carried her baggage behind her and followed her closely, like a poor little tail.

  Shi Jian: “…”

  Take it home. After you take it home, you can drive it out.

  When they returned to the Marshal’s palace together, there was a festive scene in the palace, with red silk everywhere, and a group of people outside the palace talking incessantly.

  Ke Li couldn’t help but spit at the system: “Tut,6 Tut – buzzword/slang for a dissatisfied sound. the ancients love to eat melons and gossip.”

  [It’s not because the host loves eating melons and also love gossip.]

  Ke Li: “…”

  She always carelessly forgets that this novel is written by her.

  Shi Jian has already seen Ke Li’s ability to be dazed and pulled her sleeve directly. She went to see her mother and father first.

  When she arrived at the door, Shi Jian asked awkwardly: “What’s sister’s name?”

  As a general’s daughter, it’s awkward to call sister all day.

  Ke Li replied cleverly: “Ke Si Qu.”

  ”Oh.” Shi Jian felt that the name was familiar, as if she had heard it somewhere, and thought carefully, but couldn’t remember.

  After explaining that Ke Li was a friend of hers to her father, she stood quietly listening to him.

  On the day of his daughter’s wedding, the prospective son-in-law suddenly escaped from marriage. The marshal was very angry and distressed for his daughter, he soothed her and said: “No one is a good thing to escape from marriage. Shi Jian don’t be sad. Father will find you a good husband in the future.”

  Shi Jian sneaked a glimpse at Ke Li and nodded. “What daddy said about those who escape marriage should be caught, whipped and beat up.”

  [Host, why is this so familiar?]

  Ke Li: “…”


Author’s Notes:

Ke Li: Today I’m still straight. _ (: з “∠) _


  1. It’s a common saying but can be versed in different phrases – her skin is so tender, thin, translucent, delicate that it can be blown away.
  2. Ke Li meant by her waist would have disappeared a long time ago – Shi Jian wouldn’t have caught her waist if she wasn’t such a great person. The author just phrased the meaning of the sentence indirectly.
  3. Idiom – old cow eats young grass – a romance where the “man” is significantly older [Ke Li – 25yr] than the woman [Shi Jian – 18yr]. Doudou hits low and is an asshole.
  4. Doudou talking shit to Ke Li…. implying that the character she shaped in her story was 2-D and doesn’t properly reflect the true personality of the character – thus her true form at present is 3-D (black bellied miss chasing husband). Basically, Doudou is jabbing at her for being a shitty writer that can’t even portray her characters properly. There’s a lot of hidden meanings in this novel so look carefully and think deeply!!! I’ll only explain the less obvious ones.
  5. Implying Ke Li needs to be captured, skinned and beat up too.
  6. Tut – buzzword/slang for a dissatisfied sound.

This Post Has 9 Comments

  1. Sakuya-hime

    What straight steel pipe…..host, you are more bent than a spiral….

    I wonder how this story will develop~

    Eating Shi Jian’s tofu until she bends? Acting silly until she gets pushed down~?

    Thanks for the chapter~

  2. MT

    I feel like arc one is a breath of fresh air, mainly because Shi Jian is chasing after her fleeing fiance while Ke Li is shameless. I’m going to light a candle in advance for Ke Li, once Shi Jian figures out that Ke Li loved her fiance she’s going to be fierce. Hopefully Ke Li will be shameless, professing that she truly loves Shi Jian and only appeared to like the fiance because of heteronormative culture. Meanwhile Doudou will be eating melon seeds while recording Ke Li’s progress ^^

    Thank you for updating! I discovered this gem after getting notifications on my email!

  3. MoonSerenity

    I don’t know why, but this novel gives me the same feel as “My Master Disconnected Yet Again” only this is not yuri (<3) and the MC is not op. But thank you for the update! Looking forward to the next chapter and thank you for your hardwork since as you mention on the 1st chapter on how long it is.

    1. Translator Admin

      Thanks so much, I appreciate it, it means alot. Ahahah your the first to mention that specifically. I actually noticed some viewers weren’t happy about my comment on length and got labeled as a complainer. I’m glad you’re enjoying the series. It’s actually funny and different. It’s very difficult for me to release chapters since I’m machine translating. Thanks for the comment <3

    2. MoonSerenity

      Sorry correction I mean the “this is not yuri” for the “My Master Disconnected Yet Again” ^_^;

  4. zelkova

    Thanks for picking this up! And you’re right on how long this chapter was! I forgot that this was just the first chapter🤣😅 you did a great job translating this

    1. zelkova

      Correction : second chapter 🤣🤣

    2. Novice TL Admin

      Thank you

  5. Anonymous

    i know i”m shameless but who’s gonna be on top

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