Don’t Be Jealous, I Will Bend Myself – Chapter 99

Translated by Novice Translations

Proofread by Nesryn

Arc 6: The Real World – 3

She Lost All Her Integrity in the Mission Worlds

  Ke Li’s actions were too sudden, and the area she pushed wasn’t good. Shi Jin felt a dull pain from her chest, and her arms were empty. Then she saw Ke Li staring at her in a daze and murmuring to herself, “How could it be? How could it be?”

  Shi Jin ignored the pain. She fixed her exposed neckline, knelt, and hugged Ke Li. She warmly appeased: “Don’t think about it. Those things are in the past. I’m here now. You’ll be okay.”

  Ke Li shook her head, only to feel that bloody scene flashing through her mind. Followed by a scene that Shi Jin fell in front of her and her eyes were full of Shi Jin’s blood.

  Her head was filled with fireworks exploding and crackling. All the things she remembered were either greatly enlarged or greatly shrunk. She banged her head hard and even suspected that she was still in the novel world, otherwise, how could it be!

  Shi Jin was busy restraining Ke Li’s restless hands. Her eyes were red with anxiety, and said, “Dear, calm down. Don’t think about it. It will get worse and worse. Do you still want to forget about me?”

  It seemed that this sentence worked. Ke Li was stunned, leaning against Shi Jin’s arms with closed eyes and didn’t think about anything. Her headache was alleviated to some extent, but her heart rate and respiratory rate were still high.

  Nearly ten minutes later, Ke Li was still held by Shi Jin in a strange position, but she calmed down. She said her doubts: “You…how do you have that wound? How were you hurt?”

  Shi Jin was relieved, gently stroked her hair, and said, “It’s not good to talk about this, okay? You need to relax now.”

  “But I want to know.” Ke Li deeply inhaled Shi Jin’s scent. The scene in her mind just now made her feel closer to the woman in front of her. “Weren’t you doing this to help me remember? Tell me slowly, I’m not that fragile.”

  However, Shi Jin rubbed Ke Li’s face and said, “You have to be obedient. This kind of thing can’t be rushed. You need to recover slowly, otherwise, there’s only failure.”

  “Can I look at the wound again?” Ke Li looked at Shi Jin quietly. “Since I don’t have to do tasks anymore, that means that I improved to a certain degree, right? Don’t be so cautious.”

  Her brain was like paste now, and she was trying to organize the things in her mind. Thus, she was eager to know everything.

  “You’re not allowed to think about it on purpose.” Shi Jin released Ke Li and moved the bathrobe, revealing the faded scar and a large area of snow-white skin with a slightly flushed face.

  “It’s a gunshot wound, right?” Ke Li’s fingertips touched it, and her eyes were unknowingly fixed on it. She was terrified of the thought that Shi Jin might have experienced this kind of danger.

  Shi Jin grabbed her hand in time, pulled up her bathrobe, and said, “Okay, no more looking.”  

  “Was it because of me?” However, Ke Li was reluctant to let go of this. Why would she get shot at in a peaceful society for no reason? The probability of a car accident is much greater than this, unless it was an abduction.

  “No, it was my fault. It was because I didn’t know people well enough.” Shi Jin saw Ke Li was being stubborn and still trying to pursue this matter. She held her face and said, “If I could tell you right now, then there wouldn’t be a need to do things in such a roundabout way with sister Qing. Otherwise, things would only backfire. You will slowly understand everything over time. You have to take the initiative to think about it. It’s like being forced to accept and taking the initiative to accept are two different things. I can’t let you take this risk.”

  Ke Li didn’t understand the difference but thought that maybe if Shi Jin reminded her more, then she would recall things quicker.

  She wanted to say something else but felt that there was a shadow in front of her eyes. Her limbs froze, and Shi Jin’s soft lips were pasted against her lips.

  Just like her first kiss, Ke Li’s blood flowed backwards, and her heartbeat accelerated. All the thoughts she just had disappeared.

  She stared blankly at Shi Jin’s long eyelashes. Slowly, her lips were dominated, and her mouth pried open. She looked like such a pure girl in front of Shi Jin. She even forgot to breathe but enjoyed this kind of possessive tenderness.

  ”Stop…stop.” Ke Li pushed Shi Jin with her face burning red like a lantern.

  Shi Jin pecked her lips lovingly and said, “Don’t think too much, okay? Be good and take it step by step. You can’t eat an elephant in one bite.”

  ”En, I want to sleep more.”

  After Shi Jin left, Ke Li hid in the bed and browsed through the Internet about the causes of selective amnesia.

  She didn’t even realize that she had amnesia, and her life wasn’t affected, which meant that it was selective. However, most of the results regarding selective amnesia were caused by hypnosis or great trauma.

  Her parents got divorced when she was a child, and she became indifferent. Could it be that she lost her memory because of that trauma? But there were no obvious signs of that trauma affecting her. As for hypnosis, it’s said that she would only lose her memories temporarily.

  Ke Li was very skeptical of this and changed the direction of her thoughts. She searched for kidnappings and murders over the years and finally found a match.

  “Mr. Li, a senior executive of a company, abused his privileges because of personal motives and forcibly tampered with the memories of his rivals.”

  Ke Li trembled and clicked on the link, but the webpage wouldn’t load as if it was forbidden to visit. She searched for other websites about this matter but had no luck.

  “Get up, breakfast is ready.” After being intimate just now, Shi Jin reached out to hold Ke Li just like when they were in love.

  Ke Li quickly put away her phone, blushed, and said with a wry face: “I’ll feed myself.”

  Shi Jin wasn’t embarrassed. She withdrew her hand, helped prepare Ke Li’s clothes for today and said, “Shall we go to school later? Maybe it can help you remember something.”

  “Can’t you just tell me these things?” Ke Li wondered and vaguely noticed something. Although Shi Jin didn’t take the initiative to tell her everything, she still guided her to take the initiative to remember.

  There were differences between active cognition and passive cognition in psychology. So, was her amnesia also related to psychology?

  Shi Jin thought she was still complaining about her and seriously said: “I hope more than anyone else that you will remember. But only taking minimal risks.”

  ”I understand.” After breakfast and getting ready, Ke Li and Shi Jin went to XX University with Shi Jin and took a one-day tour as an alumnus. 

  It was now hot summer, and school just started. There were freshmen everywhere, and some people even asked them for directions.

  ”I really miss my previous life ya.” Ke Li hooked Shi Jin’s arm like an umbrella and continued, “You studied at our school, and I’m your girlfriend, right?”

  ”En, the first time we met was at school.” Shi Jin said, “At that time, you were still a freshman who was ambitious and full of life.”

  Ke Li responded: “Unfortunately, I fell behind. Otherwise, my mother would have definitely rushed to recruit me into her department. After all, I’m well-versed in many foreign languages as well. It would have been possible to work at your company and engage in office romance.”

  When she was with Shi Jin, she always felt at ease. She could boldly make small jokes.

  “You still can now. Our company lacks both data and clerks.” Shi Jin joked, “Didn’t you want to work at our company as an intern when you were a senior?” 

  “That’s all in the past.” Ke Li’s memory only recalled the internship but not that it was at Shi Jin’s company. This change might have been from her memories being altered.

  Shi Jin quietly took Ke Li’s hand, clasped it, and said, “It’s all in the past. Now, you have to grasp the present.”

  Shi Jin’s hand was cool and had no signs of sweating. Ke Li felt very comfortable and hesitated for a moment before she asked: “How did I chase you, a junior? How did I succeed? Was I shameless? Or was it something else?”

  “You pursued me in my senior year, but I wasn’t interested. Then you kept pestering me on how to write a paper.” Shi Jin picked out some interesting points, and Ke Li began to doubt herself again. Then became more convinced that her memories were altered.

  Ke Li was in a good mood all day. When she logged into her pen name that night, she realized that she had written six novels, and one of them was on hiatus, so the task couldn’t have continued.1There were five novels she transmigrated into.

  She asked: “If I wrote more novels, would I still be doing more tasks?”

  “By doing the task, it gives you the opportunity to doubt, which is more useful than telling you directly. And we could also analyze whether your situation was appropriate to conduct the applicable external interference.”

  Shi Jin explained: “Every time you do a task, we track the data then analyze it. If the task is done in a novel you created, it was more helpful.”

  So, completing that novel will help? Ke Li suddenly had a bold idea: “If I complete a novel and do another task, will that be okay?”

  Shi Jin replied: “It’s possible but still needs to be analyzed.”

  Ke Li wasn’t aware that Shi Jin was trying everything she could in a desperate situation. Anyway, she wanted to remember her past. So, she started her new goal by going through her old novels. As a result, she felt that the female leads were based on Shi Jin…   

  After Ke Li completed the novel, she noticed that readers gradually found that the female supporting lead and the female lead were too ambiguous. It was only when they saw Ke Li wrote that the male lead went to study abroad that the romance developed into lily.

  “Aren’t you afraid of being scolded by the readers?” Shi Jin really wanted to read what Ke Li wrote. Unfortunately, Ke Li strictly forbade her from reading it and accessing the webpage.

  “I changed the label, but they didn’t notice. So, let’s indulge this time.” Ke Li was very accustomed to living with Shi Jin. One office, one codeword, sleep together and get up together.

  Three months later, Ke Li once again entered the Life Experience Department to do the final task. This time, there was no obstruction nor a male lead. She completely fell in love with the female lead in the novel.

  This task execution was entirely under Shi Jin’s jurisdiction. Thus, Shen Qing didn’t know about the specifics but was present. After Ke Li finished the emotional separation, Shi Jin realized something was wrong and asked, “Do you remember?”

  Ke Li smiled and said, “Guess? In fact, I did the task again and remembered some fuzzy memories.”

  Shen Qing said with shock: “When did you remember? You didn’t tell me.”

  She looked at Shi Jin and saw that Shi Jin also shook her head and was unclear about this matter as well, which comforted her.

  Ke Li didn’t reply to Shen Qing but said in a deep voice: “Two years ago, a department of the Space and Time Administration was secretly demolished because it altered other people’s memories without permission…”

  Shi Jin’s company was engaged in big data, while the Life Experience Department’s role was similar to hypnosis or manipulating dreams. This meant that an artificial world would require a large amount of data and code. Then through some interference and a series of data fitting, the host could enter the data world. This world was incredibly similar to the real world.

  Therefore, the system had another function. That is, to stimulate short-term memories through objects the host was familiar with. While it could only play an auxiliary role in arousing long-term memories and more things were required.

  Of course, since there was a department that allows people to experience life and help them reawaken their memories, there was also a department that can make people lose their memories. This is the Life Rebirth Department.

  The relevant government regulations: It was illegal to alter or delete other people’s memory without authorization. This is the only place in the country where memories could be deleted. But they must have the affected person’s consent and the signature of a power of attorney.

  Shen Qing felt disbelief when she heard what Ke Li said and once again determined: “Do you have a headache or a nervous disorder? That is, you can’t distinguish between reality and dreams, and that you always feel exhausted.”2Her mom didn’t know this happened to Ke Li. She knew something happened to her but not how it happened…

  Ke Li shook her head and said with a smile, “No, I’m going to a world with only two people. I wish you the best to obtain a home run as soon as possible.”3Ke Li just roasted her mother when she was concerned about her lol. A world of two people means that she only cares about her and her lover and will immerse herself in that world where there’s only her and Shi Jin. A home run as soon as possible means a solid significant other for Shen Qing. AKA Shen Qing falling in love as soon as possible.

  Shen Qing: “…”

  When they returned home and laid in bed, Shi Jin was still worried: “Are you really okay?”

  Ke Li rolled into Shi Jin’s arms, hooked her hair, and said, “Not only am I okay but I can also fight 300 rounds with you anytime. Would you like to have a try if you don’t believe?”

  Shi Jin: “…”

  “Now, I’m sure that you really remember. You have that same color as before.” Shi Jin hugged Ke Li. “Now that you remember, why didn’t you tell me and sister Qing earlier?”4Author is really bad at pacing the story. This left me confused and muddled for an hour questioning if I misinterpret a few passages earlier…This is explained in the last few paragraphs of this chapter

  “I wanted to surprise you.” Ke Li stroked Shi Jin’s shoulder. “I told you before that I’m not so fragile. My parents were divorced when I was a kid, and I didn’t have trauma from it. If it wasn’t for that scum Mr. Li, then how could I have forgotten about you?”

  Li Yan was an old classmate and one of Shi Jin’s suitors. He was also the Minister of the Life Rebirth Department. However, due to the long-term losses in the stock market, along with his failure to pursue his beloved woman, he tried to steal the secrets of Shi Jin’s company and sell it to a rival company. However, because he had difficulty in giving up his affection for her and other variables, he hired a fierce criminal to kidnap his love rival, Ke Li, and demanded a large ransom.

  However, there was a mistake at the ransom site. The gun was fired, and Shi Jin was accidentally shot. She was critically injured, and her life was at risk.

  Li Yan took advantage of this incident to greatly traumatize Ke Li psychologically. Her brain nerves were damaged, and it became relatively easy to tamper with her memories. He altered Ke Li’s memory so that she would lose all her memories related to Shi Jin and also forget about her sexual orientation. Then he continued to be the Minister of the Life Rebirth Department.

  Nearly half a year later, Li Yan was arrested, and Shi Jin just recovered. Thus, she began to prepare for the restoration of Ke Li’s memories. This preparation took half a year, then she started the task.

  “It’s because I wasn’t good enough. I gave him that opportunity to hurt you.” Shi Jin just recalled the fear from that moment. It’s true that a gentleman or villain can’t be judged at face value.

  Ke Li comforted: “Isn’t it okay now?”

  Shi Jin asked, “Yes, but how did you suddenly remember?”

  Ke Li moved closer and said mysteriously: “I discovered that all my female leads are based on you. So, I went to reread my novels again. From that, I was able to remember that the reason why Ke Yu was so close to Ji was because this was when we were together, and that there was still a gap in my memory.5This is schoolgirl arc aka arc 4. Basically, she had a crush on Shi Jin but didn’t know she was gay cause of her memory loss Then when that gap was slowly filled later, I created that plot that involved abusing the female lead.”

  Shi Jin asked in disbelief: “You remembered because they remind you of me?”

  “Yes. I’m sorry to my girlfriend that I couldn’t remember her this entire time.” Ke Li didn’t dare say that she got up in the middle of the night and stared at Shi Jin, then had a splitting headache.

  The Life Rebirth Department used a combination of psychology and hypnosis to alter memories. In addition, her brain nerves were injured, and it wasn’t in an ideal state to undergo stimulation. Fortunately, Shi Jin made countless preparations beforehand and laid a solid foundation. Otherwise, she may be braindead right now.

  “Be quiet. Don’t hide things from me in the future.” Of course, Shi Jin knew her recovery wouldn’t be so easy. She chose to take her time and make Ke Li as comfortable as possible.

  “I certainly won’t.” Ke Li leaned over to kiss Shi Jin’s chin and said bluntly, “So, can we declare that it’s okay to have sex in broad daylight? I have a lot of new positions I want to try out recently.”

  “Your brain is full of yellow waste.” Shi Jin poked Ke Li’s forehead and continued, “It’s the same as when you were in the mission worlds. I didn’t expect that same color would return here as well.”

  Ke Li heard her, froze, then exclaimed: “How do you know?”

  “Actually, I did those tasks with you.” Shi Jin cunningly bit Ke Li’s ear. “But when I did the task, I would temporarily lose my memories and retain the original female lead’s mindset. After the task is complete, everything that happened to the female lead in the mission world will be part of my memory.”

  Ke Li: “…”

  No, she’s going to die!

  She lost all her integrity in the mission worlds.


Novi’s Note: So, I started this series in September 28th, 2019 and finally completed it!! This was my first yuri series that I picked up and I manage to pull through and finish it! Woot one year of effort with many breaks in between >~<;;

Readers, please thank Yandere Devil from NovelUpdates. If she didn’t make a pick-up thread when I was looking for projects, I would have never picked this up. Also, low-key picked it up just cause her user had the word ‘Yandere’ in it and I am still going through a Yandere phase.

I’m requesting readers to please leave a review on NovelUpdates so other readers can find this story and enjoy it as well.

Thank you for reading my translations. If you’re interested in more novels that I’ve translate, please navigate through the ‘Project List’ tab. I have many completed novels that I’ve fan translated and some ongoing novels that I’m still working hard on! See you in my next fan translations!

Thank you for all my readers who enjoyed the story along with me! And also the help I get from my proofreaders.

– Novi (⋈◍>◡<◍)。✧♡

This Post Has 28 Comments

  1. Rael

    Oh boy. Where to start…

    First of all, 99 chapters? Really? Thats so annoying that the author didn’t go for 100!

    Jokes aside….

    I feel like this ending is… undeserved. To go through 98 chapters of this and that to explain it all away in just a few paragraphs feels so incredibly cheap to me.

    The whole “altered memories” thing is just…. EVEN in that case, sitting down beforehand and calmly explaining what had happened would surely have been less traumatic… Ke Li’s forgiveness wasn’t earned by anyone, Shi Jin got no retribution (even a harsh comment would have been fine), even if I can understandand that her motivation came from a place of both deep love and regret, and Shen Qing just…. mother of the year award dishonourable mention.

    I can bitterly accept this ending because I saw it coming and a happy ending is nice, but in no way was it deserved in my opinion.

    But that’s all it is, an opinion.
    (Also this “review” does kinda come right off the back of finishing the last arc of “clear and muddy loss of love” which made me cry for about two hours so my opinion of this novel is being influenced by a rather fresh point of comparison)

    1. Novi

      Yeah I know I was pretty disappointed too. I feel like the last arc “The Real World” could have been longer and more detailed. It felt very out of pace and rushed.
      I really did like the novel for the comedy and cultural jokes and the light fluff but I think I would rate this novel a 3.5/5 just for the consistently bad story pacing…every arc had that issue where nothing happened for a while then all of a sudden a plot push.
      I don’t regret reading/translating this, I learned a lot of cultural things and “sayings”.
      And I also wished Ke Li wasn’t so forgiving towards them and had like a “fit” from all those heartbreaks as well, even one-two paragraph of throwing a fit would have been decent.

  2. Rael

    Oh right and I almost forgot!

    Hope to see you again for the next yuri translation, maybe I’ll be less of a grump by then, ahahaha~

  3. vivalayuri

    Good job on finishing this novel! The ending is not satisfying enough tho, i want some kind of a afterstory to fix it but welp its ok. Thanks for translating this till the end! Looking foward to your next projects.

  4. Anonymous

    Thank you for the translation

  5. ShadowBug

    Thank you so much for the translation

  6. BatMane

    Thank you for the translation!

    1. Novi

      Thank you all for reading along with me!~~

  7. Anon

    Thanks for the translation!

  8. RozuArison08

    I’ll be honest here. I really love this novel but the last world wasn’t my taste so I skipped it knowing that the FL will die. The last 3 chapters felt so rushed that it reminded me of a certain world hopping novel(gl) too. I assumed that the author lost its spark along the way so I didn’t mind it because I loved the past arcs.

  9. BabyBeluga

    Thank you so much for finishing! It was fun reading this as you translated(,even if there was a gap)

  10. radioclod

    I really enjoyed this novel even with all of it’s weird pacing issues and I’m really glad you picked it up when you did. I was just starting to take an interest in CN novels at the time and the great opening this novel had (plus your awesome translations) got me hooked on them ever since. While I definitely think this could have gone waaaay better, this novel will always have a special place in my heart and I’m both sad and happy to see it end.

    Thank you so much for all of your hard work this past year, I’m definitely gonna stick around for your other projects!

  11. Black

    it was an awesome ride… thankyou very much for the novel

  12. Kayy


  13. Alex

    I think the real world arc should definitely have been expanded.
    Such an abrupt explanation/ending for the last 96 chapters.
    Hope all is going well with you and thanks for all your hard work!

  14. Alter Ego

    This novel has been an emotional rollercoaster for me. There are most parts I REALLY love but there are some parts that are just so hard to love. But the ending is… Wow. A bit disappointing.

    I feel like there could’ve been more. It’s like the author was in a real hurry to finish this novel. It was a bit forced and the author just blatantly threw the explanations straight to our face.

    One thing I also don’t like about in this novel is the lack of aftermath for the side characters. Like what happened to them? They’re just casted aside. Sure they’re just simulations but what about Shen Qing then? What happened to her?

    But all in all, great novel. Definitely worth atleast 7/10. Hahaha. The friendzone arc really did it for me. I’m sure to keep rereading this one. Thank you for all the chapters you’ve given us. This has been a great ride.

    1. Novi

      Haha thanks for reading along with me…good point. Wonder if shen qing successfully got a wife…

  15. GrudgeMan

    Thanks for translating. Is it possible to try to write another chapter like a fanfiction of sorts. I’m just curious how it’ll turn out.

    1. Novi

      I don’t have the talent to write fanfic haha

  16. Moomoo

    Thank you for all your work and translations!
    So it was a Gunshot combined with selective memory altering… I think I have to agree with you Novi, the pacing is definitely a little off, but all in all I really enjoyed the series. There was enough detail to get attached a bit, but not to the same depths of some other novels that are so realistically paced (someone you above mentioned clear and muddy loss of love, cuz boy does that author do well with pacing and really making you have the feels) BIG BIG THANK YOU. one day I hope to provide you a kooofiii

    1. Novi

      Thanks for reading my translations and enjoying the story with me ^^
      Don’t sweat the kofi and come back for my other translations.

  17. Warm black tea

    A different version of it was all a dream, I like the twist though. I quite like that they stopped at 99 chapters, it’s amusing to know that others will be a tiny bit annoyed at that. The ending was definitely a bit rushed, I feel like an epilogue could’ve helped a lot there. It’s a bit lacklustre, all cut and dry. I’m also surprised at how effective everything is. With her recovering her memories and all I kind of wish everything that she did during the stories came back at once, sort of a mental dam being unleashed. With how good they were at creating and then blocking memories it’s more than a little scary. Definitely enjoyed the journey, huge thanks to you!

  18. Chrúbarb

    Oh wow I’m glad I got to binge this again. I’m also a bit disappointed. It’s strange that the “fake” stories are so much longer than “reality”. And so rushed. But I loved it all the same and thank you for translating it.

  19. rvein

    haha, I knew that Shi Jin actually plated as well with her in this life project thingy…well anyway Imma miss this novel uuuu…I can’t believe it…this is the end!

  20. jrdp_18

    I finally finished this, thanks!! *burns paper money for Novi

  21. Altay545

    Welp typical system world hopping ending, feels rushed and unsatisfying hahaha I swear bro I’ve not read 1 satisfying ending when a system or world hopping is involved cuz the author always fails the landing and they throw out weird explanations and rushed endings, im hoping “she is the protagonist” is the exception to this rule cuz I really love that series.

    Welp that aside Boooommmm baby I fucking knew it hahaha her memory was erased by some scum guy so that fucked up her brain and the worlds were to help her be prepared to gain her memories back I knew it from the start it just smelled like that lol, did people not fucking read the chapter though? Still bitching about Shi Jin not explaining things to Ke Li when Shi Jin explained that they couldn’t tell her anything directly cuz that could have fried her brain, people are so fucking stupid sometimes fucking read you retards.

    Attacks aside I got some things wrong though I thought they were pursuing MC but no it was Shi Jin and also mc wrote her novels while brainwashed hu? So her subconscious still remembered Shi Jin and slowly made her characters more Lily lol.

    Still I’m very disappointed with the reveal of Shi Jin being the FL all this time, I really wanted mc to see all the other past girls in Shi Jin and that that would trigger her memories but no she didn’t even find out …. Welp that was a really good reveal wasted I feel.

    Either way the worlds were very fun, especially world 2 and 4 that CEO world just had a great and very interesting relationship and the school romance was pretty good too, the other 3 worlds had interesting parts but we’re a little more iffy and inconsistent.

    7/10 fun but has some slow and weird parts and yeah I also agree pacing was very weird in some world’s but well it’s a world hopping novel that’s how it goes, along with a ton of characters being neglected and even the main girls not getting any real sweet moments in the real world it was still fun.

  22. Fiore

    Story arcs were definitely weak in the plot department, but very strong when it comes to that good sweet gay fluff, and that’s what I was in the mood for anyway. A more fleshed out conclusion would’ve been nice though.

  23. J

    Appreciate your great work. Thank you so much!!!

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